Homily, Twenty Seventh Sunday Ordinary Time, Cycle B: Jesus' teaching on Marriage and Divorce

This homily beaks open the readings from the Twenty Seventh Sunday Ordinary Time, Cycle B.

Before I was ordained a Deacon I did not always get to Church as early as I do now.   Getting the family to church on time was a challenge, especially when the kids were young.  This reminds me of a typical Sunday morning for my family about 13 years ago.  My wife and I had slept in and were finishing up a leisurely breakfast.  I was reading the paper, she was watching a cooking show and my daughters were playing the in the family room.  I look up from the paper and see its 10:30 am.  Yikes, Mass starts in 45 minutes so I sound the alarm to get everyone going.  We are all a little on edge as we rush to prepare, with debate about what the kids are to wear, trying to find car keys, and trouble with the garage door delaying our departure.  You’ve all been there, right? We finally get on the road and I’m thinking we will just barely make it to Mass on time.  My wife then asks me a question and I respond sounding very irritated. My youngest daughter must have picked up on tension and asks: Mom and Dad, when are you going to get a divorce?

This brings me to the focus of today’s Gospel on this Respect Life Sunday. Jesus is addressing an aspect of everyday living that most of us here can identify with, Marriage, and an issue that most us have been affected by in one-way or another: divorce. While the Church has taught from the beginning that marriage is a life long permanent relationship based on the Scripture and tradition there are many whose marriages have ended in separation or divorce.   This causes a breakdown of relationship between the couple, their children, and for some estrangement from the Church. Many view the Church as the last place to turn to when this situation occurs, due its teaching on marriage, but this is a time when someone needs a faith community the most. 

In today’s Gospel Jesus is confronted with the Pharisees challenging him on whether it is lawful for a husband to divorce his wife. Jesus responds to the challenge by asking the Pharisees what Moses commanded. They respond that divorce was permitted. Jesus attributes this as an accommodation due to their hard hearts.  Moses most likely permitted divorce because husbands would have found other ways to get rid of their wives. Jesus responds that the original plan of God was that once a man and women are joined in marriage no human must separate, and he abolishes permission to divorce. Jesus further adds that if someone divorces and remarries the sin of adultery is committed. Wow, this is a really hard teaching.

The culture we live in today has not changed too much from the time of Jesus.  Marriage is not viewed as a lifelong permanent relationship and laws in most states make it very easy to obtain a divorce.   Over half of the marriages in the US today end in divorce, and Catholic statistics are pretty much the same. This unfortunately leads to many broken relationships.

Jesus’ teaching on marriage may have seemed hard, but it was what God had intended from the beginning.  Jesus was also defending the vulnerable, women and children, and to preserve peace in families. Women held little status in the world at the time and most likely could not support themselves outside the home, making it extremely difficult to survive and support their children without a husband.   A divorced woman may have to return to her family, which may be burden and bring shame upon them. In the Middle Eastern world this shame called the males of family to vengeance, which often resulted in violence and death.

The Church today is a beacon of light promoting marriage as a lifelong permanent relationship in the world that speaks a contrary message. This starts at the very beginning when couples approach the Church about getting married. Our parish requires preparation to marry and pair’s a sponsor couple with engaged couples to assess their readiness for marriage also requires them to go through an marriage preparation retreat such as Pre-Cana or Tobit weekend.  Once married there is additional support through parish ministries, archdiocesan resources such as Marriage Encounter, and the US Bishops’ website totally dedicated to the support of marriage, ForYourMarriage.org, with lists many resources.

The Church also provides support for those marriages that are troubled. Our priests and deacons can help with a listening ear to provide spiritual support and to direct you to resources for professional support. Catholic Charities offers counseling for couples that may need financial assistance. There is even a retreat program, Retrouvaille, for marriages that are that are seriously in trouble.

         If you marriage ends the Church is there to support you.  Many people have the misconception that those who are divorced are not able to receive the sacraments, but the sacraments are available and can be especially healing in recovering from a broken relationship.  The Archdiocese offers a support group, Divorce & Beyond, and the parish has ministries that may aid in developing friendships and providing spiritual support.

         The difficult situation that some may find themselves in is being divorced and civilly remarried, which prevents one from participating in the sacramental life of the Church.  Unfortunately some decide to leave the Church due to this, as they may feel unwelcome.  But the Church does welcome these people and encourages them to participate in the community life of the Church, attending Mass to listen God’s word, being in the presence of Jesus in Eucharist, and having their children educated and brought up in the faith.  

There is a possibility for people to have their previous marriages annulled so they may be restored to the full sacramental life in the Church.  An annulment is not a Catholic divorce, but a process that investigates whether the marriage was valid from the beginning.  Unfortunately some don’t pursue an annulment because they are concerned of the expense and time involved.  The expense issue can easily be overcome and some situations can be resolved simply by filling out paperwork.  The Archdiocese holds a workshop annually to provide information on the annulment process or you can inquire with one of the priests or deacons.  You can find information on many of these resources mentioned on Archdiocese of Indianapolis Website under the office of Family Ministries or posted in the information area of the parish.

Returning to my daughter’s question, we were not planning on getting a divorce.   We thought her question was due to our “heated” discussion, but she had heard about her friend’s at school whose parents were getting divorced and had come to the conclusion that divorce was just a normal thing that parents did.  This made an impression on us of the importance to reinforce Church’s teaching on the permanence of marriage to help instill this value in our children, rather than what the culture teaches.

In closing I’d like to ask all of you to pray for all married couples, those with happy healthy marriages that they remain strong, those who are having trouble to get the help they need, and also for those who are divorced or separated to heal from their broken relationship.  Also please be there for those who are going through these tough situations, as we are all the Church and need to be present to those who are struggling. Finally if you know anyone who has left he Church due to divorce, separation, or remarriage, please share what you have heard today and invite him or her back to renew a relationship with Christ in a welcoming faith community.  Thank you and May God bless you.