Deacon Steve's Homily - Love is wanting the absolute best for others - 23rd Sunday Ordinary – A

Today’s readings are all about love.

Paul says in his letter to the Romans:

You shall love your neighbor as yourself."  Love does no evil to the neighbor; hence, love is the fulfillment of the law.

You may know that I really enjoy listening to children’s responses to certain questions.

Not too long ago a group of children were asked about love and marriage.

Here are a few of their responses:

"Love is like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." -- John, age 9

If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7

"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." -- Manuel, age 8

"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too." -- Greg, age 8

"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." -- Tom, age 5

"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." -- Regina, age 10

Love is a word that we hear practically every day.

It’s probably the one word in our English language that can have the broadest of meanings.

The children’s responses that I just read certainly point that out. 

We only have one word to describe the many different types of ‘love’.

Today I presided at the wedding of a couple whose love for each other was evident in their sacramental commitment to each other.

Theirs is the love between a husband and wife.

Love can also be the love that a parent has for a child. 

It can be the love that a child has for a parent. 

It can be the love between brothers and sisters and perhaps ‘best’ friends. 

And of course it can be used to describe romantic love.

Love is often used to describe how much a person likes certain things.

We all know that Fr. Vince loves to go fishing (or catching as he likes to say).

Fr. Dave loves the Chicago Cubs.

Deacon Ron loves to golf; of course he is an excellent golfer. 

I would love golf, too, if I golfed as well as him.

And you probably know that I would say that I love chocolate and ice cream and sports.  

As we know, love can have many different meanings to all of us.

We hear so much today about love.

Is love a feeling, is it an attraction, is it chemistry, or what?  

Love can certainly be manifested in the ways I mentioned, but the real definition of love is that you want the absolute best for someone. 

As followers of Christ, we are told throughout the Gospels to love our enemies, aren’t we?

To emphasize the importance of love Paul says:        

“Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.”

So, we as committed Christians should want the absolute best for everyone, even those we don’t particularly like.

We may not like them, but we are called to love them and want the absolute best for them.

And what is the absolute best? 

The absolute best for anyone is having eternal life in God’s heavenly kingdom. 

<pause>

Jesus showed us all that loving someone can require personal sacrifice:

A sacrifice of time, more prayer, money or the sacrifice of just being present when you would rather be somewhere else.

We don’t have to look any further than the cross itself for what true love is.

Jesus was willing to suffer and die on the cross because he wanted the absolute best for all of us.

<Pause>

My friends, love is more than sentimental feelings.  Remember, its wanting the absolute best for others.

Sometimes true love means correcting someone when they are doing something that is destructive or harmful to themself.

Parents don’t we correct our children when they do something dangerous?

When they first begin crawling and they reach for the electrical outlet we correct them, don’t we?

Or, when they are a bit older and they begin to play with fire don’t we correct them?

Of course we do because we don’t want them to be harmed.  <Pause>

Our readings remind us of the importance of warning and correcting those who we love when they are neglecting their relationship with God and living contrary to God’s laws.

In our first reading God tells the prophet Ezekiel:

“You, son of man, I have appointed watchman for the house of Israel;

when you hear me say anything, you shall warn them for me.”

God held Ezekiel responsible for the spiritual well-being of a nation.

In our Gospel reading from Matthew, Jesus addresses something that we don’t like to talk about - the issue of sin and correction.

Jesus gives us a blueprint of how to love others when they sin and are in need of correction.

This is not easy; in fact, most of us shy away from this to avoid any confrontation or accusation of being nosy or intolerant.

We need to remember that Jesus showed us that true love is sacrificial.

He always put the needs of others first, no matter how painful it was going to be for him.

Well if we really do love the person that’s in need of correction then we want the absolute best for them. 

If that’s the case, then we need to reach out to that person in an honest and loving way and do our best to draw him or her closer to Christ.

My friends, this week let’s remember that true ‘love’ means to want the absolute best for others, especially those we are closest to.

God wants that for us – that’s why Jesus suffered, died, and rose from the dead – so that all of us can have the absolute best -  eternal life.

In a few minutes we will approach the altar to receive our Lord in Holy Communion.

Let’s pray that God will give us the strength and the courage to ‘love’ as Jesus taught.    

God bless you all!

Correcting your brother with love through prayer & forgiveness - Homily, Week Ordinary Time, Week 23 – Cycle A

Good morning. This is the time of the year when many of our young adults have gone off to college for the first time.  For many of them it’s a brand new experience of being away from home, living on their own, and making their own choices.  Unfortunately this is a time they choose to do things that are contrary to Mom and Dad’s rules and God’s law.  This brought me back to my days as a freshman at Purdue University and the constant reminder of the consequences of making sinful choices: Brother Max. Did anyone else get to experience Brother Max?   He was a street preacher who’d set up in the middle of campus and shout out scripture and eternal damnation to those living in sinful ways.  He would engage in heated debates with students, many of them doing so just for entertainment.  He was quite a spectacle. Brother Max was like the watchman in Ezekiel, and felt it his obligation to “dissuade the wicked from his way”, but it wasn’t very effective.  I believe that many of the students he was trying to save did not have a relationship with Christ, so his words were just noise.  He had mainly a one-way conversation that did not attempt to build a relationship with the students.

It’s pretty hard to correct someone if you don’t have a relationship with them.

Jesus gives advice today on how the disciples are to correct a brother or sister who sins against them.  This would apply as well to those causing spiritual harm to themselves. The first step is to go to your brother or sister, and confidentially try to work it out between the two of you.   Jesus said to “tell him his fault between you and him alone”.  Jesus had a good sense of human nature, as we don’t always do this.  Too often we jump to conclusion that others have personally meant to hurt us and complain to others about the one who hurt us. This does not give the person a chance to rectify the situation. If we address the person who has hurt us with love, it gives them a chance to reconcile with us.  They may have been unaware of their fault, and willing to make things right. If we have a relationship with our brothers and sisters in Christ, we should be able to resolve our differences through forgiveness.  If we cannot resolve the issue one on one, Jesus provides a model through the Christian community, the Church, and only at last resort to go to the secular community.

Prayer is essential to resolving our differences. It’s good to first pray on the offenses to discern if it really needs addressing by asking for the Holy Spirit’s guidance. The Holy Spirit gives us patience, knowledge, understanding, and wisdom to help to discern what to do.   We need to discern if the sin is less serious or is it of grave matter, a mortal sin.

If it’s less serious it may be a matter of forgiving the other and not bringing the issue up at all. If it does need to be addressed, prayer is the best way to start the discussion. It helps bring down our defenses by calling on Jesus & the Holy Spirit to be present.   Once an agreement has been made to solve the situation, prayer is the way to go in peace. Jesus tells us, “If two of you agree on earth about anything for which they are to pray, it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father.”

Forgiveness is key to heal a situation where we’ve been hurt by another’s sin.   Jesus tells us, “Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven”.  If we’ve been hurt, the damage has been done.  The offending party needs to do their best at repairing damage.  But sometimes this may not be possible.   If we don’t forgive and hold on to the feelings of hurt, it eats away at us, and causes us harm us.   Forgiving the offender us helps our own healing.

The offender needs healing as well.  They may have been forgiven by us, but may struggle with guilt of the harm they caused.  They need the mercy of Christ through the sacrament of reconciliation and to hear the healing words of the priest: “I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit”.   Our own forgiveness and the sacraments of the Church bring healing for both parties.

So returning to the story about Brother Max, how do you help those who are hurting others and themselves who don’t know Christ?  It’s hard to address the sins committed by others without having relationship with them.  So how do we go about doing that? By sharing our joy of knowing Christ with those who are in need, both physically and spiritually so we can build a relationship with them. This will take patience and understanding as those who don’t know Christ may be living a life contrary to God’s ways and hard for us to deal with.   How can we help them to encounter Christ? By showing them love as St. Paul calls us to do today.

What are some ways to show love?  By encountering others who don’t know Christ and building a relationship with them.  A colleague of mine was recently down at IU and saw a Dominican priest who was surrounded by students in the middle of campus.  The priest was just sitting on a bench next to a sign that read, “talk to a priest”. His approach was to use honey to attract students instead of the stings of Brother Max to

build a relationship with the students. Pope Francis washing the feet of the juvenile prison inmates on Good Friday service last year gave the youth of many faiths a personal encounter with Christ.   I’m able to bring Christ in Word and sacrament to men and woman by visiting them in Johnson County Jail and connecting them back to their faith communities. Our new food panty will serve a lot more people and that will be a great opportunity to share the joy of knowing Christ with many who may not know him.   By serving the clients at the pantry it shows them Christ’s love in meeting their physical needs, in praying with them, and inviting them to know Christ through our faith community.  By helping others develop a relationship with Christ, we can help them learn the ways of Christ and prevent them from hurting themselves and others.

So when we’re hurt by others in our Christian community or see others hurting themselves by their sins, follow Jesus’ model, and make sure to pray, and be forgiving.  Also when we encounter those who don’t know the way of Christ, make an effort to build a relationship with them in Christian love, so they can know how to live as God wills.  May God bless you.