Vote as Catholic before party affiliation

Archbishop Chaput of Philadelphia preached at St. Peter's Basilica last week about voting as a Catholic based on faith first before any party affiliation.  This is a strong message and good to hear coming form one of our nations top Bishops. Click hear for the full story.

Are still holding on to your blanket?

Father Vince’s Homily this week touched on something that we can all relate to in some way or another: the security that a child’s blanket provides.  Whether it’s our own child or grandchild, brother, sister, or even our own memories of when we were little, almost of all us can recall how important the blanket was.   It was taken everywhere, well, worn and if it was lost there was going to be trouble because the blanket was the source of comfort & security.  But most children move on from the blanket as they mature. 

In the Gospel readings Bartimeaus, the blind man, threw away his cloak to be cured of his blindness by Jesus and then to follow him. The throwing away of the cloak was symbolic of getting rid of his old way of life to following Jesus, in a mature faith. 

Father Vince made the point of what a mature faith was: following Jesus in an intimate, personal, and communal relationship.  I really liked the point of the communal relationship or the Church.   Many people grow in their faith and relationship with Christ, but don’t see a need to belong to a faith community.  But a faith community is the Body of Christ, and belonging supports both the individual and also supports the whole in relationship to Christ. 

As a go about my week I hope to share the message of the importance of both a personal & intimate relationship with Christ as well as the communal relationship of a parish to support and sustain one another in Christ.  This week I’ll try to invite someone to participate in the faith community who may not actively be involved in one now and to help them “throw” away their blanket that kept them from the relationship with Christ.

Too busy to read the Catechism? Maybe not!

In this year a faith we are being called to better understand what our Catholic Faith is all about.   The Catechism ofthe Catholic Church is a resource that Blessed Pope John Paul II commissioned to be written and was released on the 30th Anniversary of Vatican II, in 1992.   It's a very comprehensive resource that details all of the beliefs of the Catholic faith.  It can be a bit daunting to read, as it is a very long book, 904 pages in all!   That's humongous!  How in the world can someone get through reading the Catechism? 

That sounds like quite a bit to bite off at one time.  Well, you have probably heard the one about how to do go about eating an elephant?  One bite at a time.   There is a resource to help you through the Catechism over the next year by taking small bites of reading daily through an email you can sign up for on the Archdiocese of Indianapolis web site.  Just go to the web site and look for “To busy to read the Catechism?” or click this link to sign up through flocknote: Read the Catechism in a Year.   You have a whole year to do it.  Go for it! You’ll be glad you did.

Are you willing to pay the price?

The readings for this week are from the 29th Sundayin ordinary time, Cycle B.  Father Vince asked us whether we were willing to pay the price for certain items we all have to buy now & then and whether it was worth it.  A gallon of gas at $3.49, is lower than it has been, but still too much.   Robitussin cough medicine at $7.39 maybe worth it if you have a nagging cough.  The disciples James and John asked Jesus to grant them a special place in his kingdom.  They did not know what they were asking.   Jesus asked them if they were willing to pay the price, to be baptized as he was or to drink the cup he would drink.   They said they were ready to do this as they thought of Jesus as a triumphant king in this world, but Jesus turned everything upside down.  He told them to be greatest they must serve or be a slave to all and even give their life.   Not what they were expecting.  Were they willing to pay the price?  Are you willing to pay the price and follow Jesus, by serving others?  To be greatest in Jesus kingdom you must be willing to serve others.  This homily made me think about doing the best I could to have a servant heart as I go through my week interacting with family, co-workers, & friends.  This may be a high price to pay as my ego calls me to want to be served, but I am willing to do this to grow in following the path to greatness as taught by Jesus, being a humble servant.

Speaking of ego, Fr. Anto spoke about ego and detachment from self.  This attitude of self-detachment and worrying about taking care of myself will help me to be a servant to others as well.   

Go and Announce the Gospel of the Lord!

Catholic Business Exchange, October 19, 2012 – God is calling you to something special. You may be on the path already!

Below is the text of presentation on October 19, 2012 to the Catholic Business Exchange. A video is also available.

Thank you very much for the opportunity to present to you today.  The topic of today’s discussion is “God is calling you to something special.  You may be on the path already!”  This is a story about the path that led me to the Diaconate.  This is not the story about how to become a Deacon, but about how God can work in your life, and prepare you for who he has called you to be.  Sometimes it’s without you knowing what He has in store for you.  The key element to determine what He has in store is keeping the Faith and taking time out to listen Him.  Sometimes we are too busy with our own plans and don’t really bother to ask God what he wants us to do. 

Last week we started the year of Faith as called for by Benedict XVI.  One of the primary messages to the Catholic faithful of Vatican II was the Universal Call to Holiness.  What comes to mind when you think of someone who is holy?    Do you think of someone who is on their knees praying all the time, always at Church, or tirelessly serving the poor?  These may be signs of someone who is holy, but it depends on if God is calling them to these activities.

Holiness is becoming the person that God wants you to be.  It’s not just for someone who is an ordained minister or a professed religious.   It’s for all vocations in life: Married, Single, Religious, And Ordained.   It’s also for all types of occupations, be it homemaker, businessperson, janitor, teacher, priest, corporate executive, scientist, food service worker and many others.  It’s also for those who may need our care, those who have disabilities and illnesses.  God makes each one of us unique with our own special purpose.   He also calls each one of us to a unique role in life and to use the special talents that he has given us.   The call to Holiness is to become what Matthew Kelly calls becoming the best-version-of-yourself.  How many people hear have heard of Matthew Kelly and read his book, Rediscovering Catholicism?  If you have not read it I would strongly encourage you to do so, especially during this Year of Faith

Now I’d like to share with you some background about myself and the path that led me to listen to God’s call to the diaconate.  If someone were to ask me 30 years ago if I was going to get up in front of a church full of people and preaching about my faith Jesus or even speaking to a group like this I would have told you were crazy.    But God led me to a path that brought me to this point.

I am a cradle Catholic, went to public schools, attended CCD and received all my sacraments at St. Mary’s Church in Griffith. My Mom usually took us to Sunday Mass on a weekly basis.  Growing up I spent a lot of time on the golf course as a kid as my dad was golf pro at a local public golf course.  I became a pretty good golfer, played a lot of junior golf tournaments, and also worked at the golf course starting at about age 12 till until I got married. If you ever saw Caddy Shack that was a lot like many of my early years.   You’d be amazed at how real some of those characters in the movie were.

  

Upon entering high school I strayed a bit, getting mixed up with the wrong crowd.  Thankfully the Lord brought my high school sweetheart, Linda, into life during my junior year of High School, which brought me back in line.  If she had not come into my life at I probably would have ended up being one of the persons in jail that the Deacons would be visiting!

I played golf in high school, and college, and had ambitions of being professional golfer. As the relationship with Linda got more serious my priorities eventually changed and was focused on getting through school and landing a decent job so we could get married and have a family.  God had planted the seed of marriage and family in my heart and following the Holy Spirit’s guidance I was called to propose to Linda early during my first year in college. My wife and I were married in the Church between my junior & senior year in college.  A year later I landed my first job as an engineer in Evansville, IN.

We had our first child, Nicole, and shortly thereafter I decided to take another job move in a different part of the country.  My wife and I were young adventurous.  I found a job in South Carolina working as an engineer for Michelin Tire Corporation, and we had our second child, Katie.   There were not very many Catholics in South Carolina, but we fortunate to live in a community that had two Catholic parishes.  We of course joined the new parish, which celebrated Mass in the basement of the rectory or borrow spaced in the Chapel at the local Methodist College.  We did not have any family in the area so we relied on friends at our parish to help quite bit to help with our young children. I began becoming a bit dissatisfied with my engineering job at the time and was beginning to search for something different to do career wise.   There was a local campus of USC that offered some career counseling. This pointed me in the direction of higher education or healthcare in a helping people use technology or possibly teaching. Teaching somewhat appealed to me but I had a great fear of public speaking. To help get some teaching experience I found a part time job as a teaching assistant at USC, which was more working one on one with students.

A few years after moving to SC my wife’s mother suffered some illnesses and we decided to move back to Indiana to be closer to family.   I targeted a job search in Indianapolis as I had heard good things about the area and it brought me closer to home.   I eventually landed a job at IUPUI working in IT support services.   I really enjoyed working with people helping bridge the gap between information technology and people.  I was good at working one on one with people, and one of the campus staff training instructors noticed this.  She asked to teach a class an upcoming class on computer networks and I told her she was off her rocker.    I was completely terrified, but she had confidence I could do it.  She had so much confidence in that she helped me develop the course and allowed me to teach it one on one to her to help get me over my jitters.  This was a great help to me getting over my public speaking fears.  It eventually led me to teaching the computer-networking course on a regular basis to outside businesses through IUPUI continuing education. 

I began to get the career change bug again and it led me to more searching and led me to look into sales.  This was the time that the Internet was just taking off (Al Gore just got finished inventing it).   I happened to be working on a project integrating Apple and Windows computers to access libraries all over the world using the Internet.  Apple turned out way easier to do this so I wound up working for them as a Sales engineer.  This gave me further exposure to speaking in front of people first small groups, and later to larger audiences. I eventually moved into being a sales representative because the money was better. I really enjoyed working for Apple, as it was technology that I really believed was helping people.  This was a time that Apple was struggling and people even talked about them going out of business.  With a young family I had to look elsewhere and moved into sales for computer networking companies.  This is when things were really taking off with Internet.  It was a wild ride while it lasted and but then the dot.com crash happened. The pressure at work was really heated up because sales were way down and it was getting very stressful.   At the same time the Lord blessed us with our third child, my son Ryan.  This was a real joy for my wife and I, but the stress from work really distracted me from the gift of my family.   On top of this my Father was diagnosed with colon Cancer, and shortly thereafter my Father-in-law had a stroke.   Then September 11, 2001 hit and it really caused me to ask questions about whether I was really on the path that God was calling me.    I had really put my work up as the top priority in my life and it was consuming me.   God was still in the picture as my family and I were still attending Mass on a regular basis, but I was mainly there out of Sunday obligation, and was not really engaged.  I felt so much pressure from my work that I felt the only time of peace I had was about 10 minutes a week when I was at Mass with my family. 

I really felt that I needed a change.  This is when I really needed Jesus.

Matthew 11: 28-30 “Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened,^* and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.” 

Shortly after this time I was invited to attend a Christ Renews His Parish – I had been invited several times, but turned down because I was too busy.    It was the best thing I ever did.

CRHP really helped me reprioritized by life.   Previously work was the god that everything centered around; family, friends, personal interests, and God were secondary. God now was at the center of my life.

Wow.  I really got my life in order!  

Three months later I was unemployed.  This was somewhat of my own doing.  The money good, but my heart was not in it.  I felt God calling me to something else. I had my review with boss and knew he was coming down on me hard for lack of sales.  Filled with the Holy Spirit I told him I needed to leave.  I was prepared financially to do this on my own, but was surprised that an exit package was provided.  This gave me the opportunity to start up business.

Very shortly after that my Father in law became very ill.  The flexibility of not having the full time job gave my wife and I the ability to take care of the needs of her father.  This was another blessing.  Prior to this I was very uncomfortable visiting people who were ill and in hospitals and nursing homes.  This experience made me more comfortable in these situations.

During this time I was also in a year of formation for CRHP.  It’s normally 6 months, but we were slow learners.  I started reading Scripture daily at this time from the Bible giving to me CRHP & attending a daily Mass on occasion.  One day I was at Mass at OLG and a lady I did not know gave me Magnificat, which has the daily readings, and MP & EP.  I was also introduced to Rosary, and Catholic literature – Pierced by a sword.  I started to develop a deep personal relationship with Jesus, a mature adult faith relationship, where I took ownership in my faith.   I wanted to learn more and know more.

I also developed a strong Marian devotion and started to pray the Rosary daily.  Soon after did a Marian Consecration.  During Lent over this time I dedicated myself to attending daily Mass once a week and attending all holy week Masses.  These Lenten activities eventually led to the habit of attending daily Mass.

I also started to attend Eucharist adoration on a weekly basis, one hour per week.   Sometimes more.   Spending quite time with Jesus.  Just being.  Just listening. We have so much noise in our lives.  Always doing.  TV on.  Radio on. Talking to others.  No time to be quiet and listen to where God is calling.  My life became more peaceful.

Our Lives change when our habits change

During CRHP retreat presentation I first learned about diaconate through Ron Reimer will on Emmaus walk. Ron told me he was applying to the diaconate. I did not know how to spell deacon at the time or what they did, but I told him I was happy that he was doing this. 

This experience got me first thinking about diaconate

I started listening to Catholic Radio, CD’s, and podcasts while driving between sales calls.

I ran across a program on Catholic Radio about Vatican II’s call to holiness for all the faithful – who God wants me to be.  The program emphasized we all should be on path to holiness and recommended develop your spiritual life by going to spiritual direction and   Monthly confession.  I went to my pastor, Fr. Vince as a Spiritual director and told him I was being called to diaconate. 

A major factor in confirming the call to diaconate ministry came though another Catholic Radio program.  It was a deacon talking about his ministry.  He explained his ministry was being out in the world at work, with family, friends, recreating, and in service to the community.  Many of the people encountered would be those who would never come to a church or do not know who Jesus was. I saw my experience in sales and meeting so many people where I was already actively preparing for ministry.

My wife, Linda, was very supportive, though this process.  She went through CRHP as well, mainly to find out if it was a cult and why it changed her husband so much.  She went in very skeptical came out pleasantly surprise.  She also developed a strong devotion to Mary & Marian consecration, and developed a love for Adoration and Quiet prayer.   We would quite often do our morning prayer together.  

Linda’s Father passed on shortly after CRHP.  Through this experience she felt a calling to volunteer in Bereavement ministry at parish, helping those going through dying process, support during funeral, and support afterward.

Following this I attended the Deacon inquiry information sessions over the next year throughout the dioceses and started discerning if this ministry is what I was called to.

This eventually led me after a lot of prayer, discernment, and discussion with spiritual director and with my wife to apply for the diaconate.

In reflecting on my path leading up to this point I really discovered that God had led me to opportunities in my life that was preparing me for the diaconate.   I just didn’t realize it.  

He first led me to the relationship with my wife and the vocation of marriage, being a husband.  He then gave me the blessings of three loving children and being a father and taught me how to love unconditional.

He then led me to serving people through my experience in work experience.  This led me to get experience working with many different people and situations and also to become comfortable with public speaking. 

He also led me to a point where I realized that I needed him to be first in my life and to come back and put him front and center.   This came out of time when I was feeling stress and frustration, but it led me back to what I needed to have consistently in my life: prayer, a relationship with Jesus, and a strong Catholic faith. Archbishop Tobin told us yesterday at the press conference that, “Faith is having the capacity to be surprised by God”.  By trusting in our gift of faith it will lead us to where God is calling us.   May you be surprised to where he is calling you!

I’d like to close with a prayer by Thomas Merton that was one of the favorites of Fr. Larry Volker, who was the Spiritual Director for the diaconate class, and passed away in 2010.   It’s a prayer that I find myself coming back to often on discerning the path God is calling me.  I hope you find it helpful for the path God is calling you, what ever it may be. 

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going.

I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.

I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.

And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.

I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

- Thomas Merton, "Thoughts in Solitude"
© Abbey of Gethsemani

United States Bishops respond to inaccurate statements in VP debates & Catholic app to form conscience.

There were some statements last week from the VP debates about the HHS mandate and that were inaccurate. Vice President Biden stated that Catholic institutions would not be forced to pay for health care coverage that includes abortifacients, contraceptives, or sterilization or be a vehicle to provide for these per the HHS mandate.  See the US Bishops statement on this issue, which states the truth about what the HHS mandate really says.  Seek the truth and use it to form your conscience when voting.  If you need help understanding where the Church stands on issues their is a handy tool to help.  The Catholic Voting Guide app is available for free on the iPhone, Android, and Window mobile devices.   You can also access the full document on the Faithful Citizenship website.

Deacon Steve's Homily, 27th Sunday - In marriage God is present

27^th Sunday Ordinary – B

Christ’s presence in the Sacrament of Marriage

Good morning!

I’ve been a deacon for over 4 years.

I have certainly enjoyed the many opportunities to minister to the people of God as a deacon.

Serving on the altar, proclaiming the word of God, and preaching are wonderful and fulfilling.

You may or may not know that a deacon can also baptize and preside at weddings.

I have baptized dozens of children and have had the opportunity to preside at several weddings.

In fact, I will be presiding at 3 weddings this month alone.

When I meet with the couples to help them plan their wedding, I always encourage them to put a lot of thought and prayer into selecting the readings for their wedding.

The readings can help set the tone for their marriage.

One of the more popular wedding readings that is often selected is our first reading from the book of Genesis.

We just read from Genesis:

"This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;
this one shall be called 'woman ', for out of 'her man' this one has been taken."
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one flesh.”

One reason that this reading is so popular is that it reminds all of us that marriage is part of God’s original plan.

God created human beings and intended male and female to cling to each other in marriage, to be fruitful and multiply.

This reading is a reminder for married couples that they are following God’s plan.

And then Jesus weighs in on marriage in Mark’s gospel when he says:

“Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate."

God intended man and woman to become husband and wife, to be fruitful, and to remain joined together.

I look around and see lots of married couples.

Could I see a show of hands?

How many couples have been married for 5 years or less?

How many from 5 to 10 years?

From 10 to 25 years?

From 25 to 50 years?

60 years?

If we ask the couples who have been married at least 25 years:

“Has your relationship with your spouse grown stronger?”

I’ll bet the answer is a resounding ‘yes’ from most of these couples.

If we ask “Are you more in love with your spouse now than ever before?”

I’ll bet the answer again is a resounding ‘yes’.

If we ask them ‘why’, I’ll bet they will say that their relationship with each other has grown because they have invited God to be part of their marriage.

Remember that a Christian marriage is a sacrament which shows God's desire to be ONE with the couple.

Christ is truly present in that Christian marriage which is centered around Christ and his church. 

The Catechism of the Catholic Church connects the first miracle of Jesus and the Sacrament of Matrimony and Christ’s presence:

“On the threshold of his public life Jesus performs his first sign – at his mother’s request – during a wedding feast. The Church attaches great importance to Jesus’

presence at the wedding at Cana. She sees in it the confirmation of the goodness of marriage and the proclamation that thenceforth marriage will be an efficacious sign of Christ’s presence (CCC 1613).”

My friends, we believe that Christ is truly present in a Christian marriage.

Marriage is truly sacred where man and woman become one.

They carry out God’s plan for humanity by cooperating with God and his grace given in the sacrament of marriage.

Recently I had lunch with a dear friend of mine who’s been battling cancer.

He and his wife have been married over 25 years and they are devoted Catholics.

Both of them have a strong faith and love for God.

This man had a major influence on my faith journey and I can honestly say that he helped prepare me to become the deacon that I am today.

He shared with me last week, that during his recent battle with cancer, the chemotherapy and radiation caused tremendous pain and suffering and he was extremely weak; he thought that he was near death.

Through it all, his wife was there with him, she cared for him – 24/7.

She didn’t leave his side.

But at his lowest point emotionally, physically, and spiritually, he actually felt that God had abandoned him.

He told me ‘God was nowhere to be found.’

He said ‘The only person that truly cared about him was his wife and at that point she was all that mattered.’

She was all that he thought about.

Her love and her care carried him through this battle.

But as he recovered and got stronger he was able to reflect upon the experience.

It was then that he realized that God hadn’t abandoned him.

God was there every step of the way through the love and the actions of his caring wife.

You see my friends, the two became one, and when they invited God to be part of their marriage, you could say that the three became one.

Husband, wife and God.

God was there through his wife.

My friends, the church reminds us in these readings that marriage is part of God’s plan, and that God wants to be part of all marriages.

May we be thankful for the gift of this beautiful sacrament.

May we be thankful for our own marriages and the marriages of our family and friends.

May God continue to send his blessings upon all married couples.

And may God bless all of you!

App for CCC Voting Guide released October 9, 2012

Last month my homily was about forming conscience using the US Bishop's Faithful Citizenship guidelines.  Now there is a way for you to take this with you on you mobile device (iPhone, iPad, Andriod).   The CCC Voting Guide for Catholics is being released today.   There is a video clip on this from EWTN World Over.   If you have not had the time to read Faithful Citizenship I would encourage you to download this apps & go through it when you have a few minutes here and there.   It is brief and to the point.  Just what we need to be prepared to vote as Faithful Citizens this year.

Homily, Twenty Seventh Sunday Ordinary Time, Cycle B: Jesus' teaching on Marriage and Divorce

This homily beaks open the readings from the Twenty Seventh Sunday Ordinary Time, Cycle B.

Before I was ordained a Deacon I did not always get to Church as early as I do now.   Getting the family to church on time was a challenge, especially when the kids were young.  This reminds me of a typical Sunday morning for my family about 13 years ago.  My wife and I had slept in and were finishing up a leisurely breakfast.  I was reading the paper, she was watching a cooking show and my daughters were playing the in the family room.  I look up from the paper and see its 10:30 am.  Yikes, Mass starts in 45 minutes so I sound the alarm to get everyone going.  We are all a little on edge as we rush to prepare, with debate about what the kids are to wear, trying to find car keys, and trouble with the garage door delaying our departure.  You’ve all been there, right? We finally get on the road and I’m thinking we will just barely make it to Mass on time.  My wife then asks me a question and I respond sounding very irritated. My youngest daughter must have picked up on tension and asks: Mom and Dad, when are you going to get a divorce?

This brings me to the focus of today’s Gospel on this Respect Life Sunday. Jesus is addressing an aspect of everyday living that most of us here can identify with, Marriage, and an issue that most us have been affected by in one-way or another: divorce. While the Church has taught from the beginning that marriage is a life long permanent relationship based on the Scripture and tradition there are many whose marriages have ended in separation or divorce.   This causes a breakdown of relationship between the couple, their children, and for some estrangement from the Church. Many view the Church as the last place to turn to when this situation occurs, due its teaching on marriage, but this is a time when someone needs a faith community the most. 

In today’s Gospel Jesus is confronted with the Pharisees challenging him on whether it is lawful for a husband to divorce his wife. Jesus responds to the challenge by asking the Pharisees what Moses commanded. They respond that divorce was permitted. Jesus attributes this as an accommodation due to their hard hearts.  Moses most likely permitted divorce because husbands would have found other ways to get rid of their wives. Jesus responds that the original plan of God was that once a man and women are joined in marriage no human must separate, and he abolishes permission to divorce. Jesus further adds that if someone divorces and remarries the sin of adultery is committed. Wow, this is a really hard teaching.

The culture we live in today has not changed too much from the time of Jesus.  Marriage is not viewed as a lifelong permanent relationship and laws in most states make it very easy to obtain a divorce.   Over half of the marriages in the US today end in divorce, and Catholic statistics are pretty much the same. This unfortunately leads to many broken relationships.

Jesus’ teaching on marriage may have seemed hard, but it was what God had intended from the beginning.  Jesus was also defending the vulnerable, women and children, and to preserve peace in families. Women held little status in the world at the time and most likely could not support themselves outside the home, making it extremely difficult to survive and support their children without a husband.   A divorced woman may have to return to her family, which may be burden and bring shame upon them. In the Middle Eastern world this shame called the males of family to vengeance, which often resulted in violence and death.

The Church today is a beacon of light promoting marriage as a lifelong permanent relationship in the world that speaks a contrary message. This starts at the very beginning when couples approach the Church about getting married. Our parish requires preparation to marry and pair’s a sponsor couple with engaged couples to assess their readiness for marriage also requires them to go through an marriage preparation retreat such as Pre-Cana or Tobit weekend.  Once married there is additional support through parish ministries, archdiocesan resources such as Marriage Encounter, and the US Bishops’ website totally dedicated to the support of marriage, ForYourMarriage.org, with lists many resources.

The Church also provides support for those marriages that are troubled. Our priests and deacons can help with a listening ear to provide spiritual support and to direct you to resources for professional support. Catholic Charities offers counseling for couples that may need financial assistance. There is even a retreat program, Retrouvaille, for marriages that are that are seriously in trouble.

         If you marriage ends the Church is there to support you.  Many people have the misconception that those who are divorced are not able to receive the sacraments, but the sacraments are available and can be especially healing in recovering from a broken relationship.  The Archdiocese offers a support group, Divorce & Beyond, and the parish has ministries that may aid in developing friendships and providing spiritual support.

         The difficult situation that some may find themselves in is being divorced and civilly remarried, which prevents one from participating in the sacramental life of the Church.  Unfortunately some decide to leave the Church due to this, as they may feel unwelcome.  But the Church does welcome these people and encourages them to participate in the community life of the Church, attending Mass to listen God’s word, being in the presence of Jesus in Eucharist, and having their children educated and brought up in the faith.  

There is a possibility for people to have their previous marriages annulled so they may be restored to the full sacramental life in the Church.  An annulment is not a Catholic divorce, but a process that investigates whether the marriage was valid from the beginning.  Unfortunately some don’t pursue an annulment because they are concerned of the expense and time involved.  The expense issue can easily be overcome and some situations can be resolved simply by filling out paperwork.  The Archdiocese holds a workshop annually to provide information on the annulment process or you can inquire with one of the priests or deacons.  You can find information on many of these resources mentioned on Archdiocese of Indianapolis Website under the office of Family Ministries or posted in the information area of the parish.

Returning to my daughter’s question, we were not planning on getting a divorce.   We thought her question was due to our “heated” discussion, but she had heard about her friend’s at school whose parents were getting divorced and had come to the conclusion that divorce was just a normal thing that parents did.  This made an impression on us of the importance to reinforce Church’s teaching on the permanence of marriage to help instill this value in our children, rather than what the culture teaches.

In closing I’d like to ask all of you to pray for all married couples, those with happy healthy marriages that they remain strong, those who are having trouble to get the help they need, and also for those who are divorced or separated to heal from their broken relationship.  Also please be there for those who are going through these tough situations, as we are all the Church and need to be present to those who are struggling. Finally if you know anyone who has left he Church due to divorce, separation, or remarriage, please share what you have heard today and invite him or her back to renew a relationship with Christ in a welcoming faith community.  Thank you and May God bless you.